Work Work Work
Work has been rather fun as of now, I am actually living my dream slowly and I believe that it will be only a blink away before I achieve my goal. Like any other jobs, my job is tough at the beginning as there are way too many things to do and yet so little time, despite the work load, the pay is actually not very rewarding after seeing what Kok Ku has been getting in his journey to sell books.
It all happened in a very odd manner as no one in the office knows that I am happily graduated and thought that I am still an undergraduate working part time for experience. And a few weeks later, I am hired and working hard now.
I am also being very hardworking by applyin for a short course at IACT and hopefully it will open more doors for me in the not so distant future. Maybe I am just trying to keep my thoughts occupied and being hopeful that things dont come back and haunt me.
period
Life changes
Time certainly flies like nobody’s business because three years ago when I was 20 years old, I bumped into this very weird girl that actually changed me quite a lot for reasons that I myself do not know why. I remember doing weird stuff during days and nights for one simple reason and yet it wasn’t fruitful at all.
Despite the outcome, I am still happy because the time is well spent. However, as time passes by, I did shits that isn’t very good to begin with and that totally screws me up. I thought I was just fooling around when it just started but then it became more than just that as I get to know her better and things aren’t really going my way. I remember asking my twin Michelle for advice in the middle of the night after I screwed up which is not very effective after all. She somehow got back into my life again suddenly but things are no longer the same as it is before. It went from bad to worse as we both live in different worlds now, literally.
Girls tend to look for stability and etc but yet guys are always playing and never serious. And I, myself is not a very serious kinda person as everyone I know never takes me seriously even though I tried very hard to be serious. I actually tried to change the attitude for her but I guess it is too late now.
The three years I spent thinking and doing things I never expected I would opened up my world and I can now see further with experiences gained in the process. However, being a typical cancerian, sometimes I find it hard to let pieces of my memory to just slip away like the wind.
Now I wonder if I am going back to my old self despite the promise I made to her and myself.
I wanna be a beach bum
It has been nearly a year since my last island trip which is the one with Vjean, Bryant Tong, and etc. The trip was fun and I miss the white sandy beach and the clear blue ocean. It seems like I need to go on an island trip at least once a year just to make myself darker. I find it hard to get tanned ad even if I do get tanned, it last no longer than a week.
A failed Bali trip was caused by the notorious A aka H1N1, not that I fear death but it was actually the location. If I want to die, I want to die at my home! hahaha Atleast I dont have to fly all the way there just to experience death.
Shall not talk about fail trips, I wish to go to Langkawi this year as there are pratically no more nice looking corals because when I was there 8 years ago, the corals are gray in colour which means they are dead. Just because there are no living and nice looking corals, I will get to have my dream tanning session with Heinekens in the coconut with an orange toothpick umbrella in it! This is what I call paradise!
*Dreams Absolute, Smirnoff, Bombay Sapphire, Heineken, Kilkenny, Tiger…….*
I rather die of overdose of Alcohol rather than H1N1, I beliebe Michelle will support me on this!
Tring a ling a ling
This post has got nothing to do with the title.
It has been awhile since I came here to write anything, it has been a rollercoaster ride since the end of finals. I went on a road trip on my own down south to Johor then to Singapore. The trip down south was awesome, imagine getting to walk around without anyone to scream at your ears just because they think that they are superior or some sort. The feeling is great, I had the best time there and even stayed out for nearly 24 hours and walking around Singapore.
Met a few friends over there and it was enlightening as some of them are really inspiring. But I like travelling alone, as in I get to enjoy ultimate freedom and head to wherever I like without having people to scream around like some underage kid and telling people that they are tall, ****, and handsome.
I regret that I am unable to head over to Bali as the graduation trip as Mom is concerned as the H1N1 case were not so under control back then and I rather not take the risk and have her nagging at me for the entire month or something.
Anyway, just a short update.
An eye opener
An improptu gathering I had with my primary schoolmates opened up my view towards life, it all happened when we started talking about what we did like 10 years ago. All of a sudden, memories gushing throught every single brain cells and I live 10 years old once again.
I compared things I thought of back then and compared it to now, I realized that I need to think differently now. To see things differently and to come out from my shell and forget what that happened. It seems like I have been living in my past all these years under the shadow of those who used to protect me during those days. Big portion of the credits will have to go to Ting Sen and Su Ee, they are the ones who are always there for me when I got bullied.
Looking back now, I feel like I need to be independent already, and I also realized my feelings for her had somehow subsided as I believe it to be. She became somewhat significant to me as things I do after the incident is an effort to forget but it ended up as a painful experience.
I grew up, in a blink of eye
Education, education, and education
Now that I finished my studies, I am beginning to think that what is it all about. For instance, some of the subjects learned in Form6 and Form1 to Form5, it seems like they are all bullshits. I am not using it today and not likely that I will use it unless I am teaching my kids. The accounts subject in Form4,5 and 6 is outdated by 20 to 30 years I think, nobody uses that format anymore other than the education ministry.
I think education serves as a purpose to limit our thinking capacity and make you follow rules set by some people up there. Why limit us when we need the galaxy to be the limits?
Love under the rule of the web
The web in the title is the world wide web, and the existence of the www has not only changed how people live and how people act but most importantly, the culture of living beings are all changed.
One of the easiest example would be love/relationships and the likes of it. Look at the generations before the www, love started with face to face conversations and mutual understanding were done in depth before even starting a relationship. However, as the internet emerged into the current millennium things have changed drastically.
Due to the existence of the internet, love has become a toy, people falling over each other with millions of miles between them, age does not seems to be a matter anymore, deeper understandings were no longer needed to start a relationship and etc. But then, the best part is that people can rely on someone on the net for a moment without having to fear of what their society would think of them. For example, if you were to have a grudge towards your family or your boss, it will be hard to share it among friends but it is easier if you have an online lover to share it with.
Therefore, love on the web makes sense this way when people wants to be discreet but yet they need a place or someone to voice out what they think and basically a new identity.
The friggin weather
I am not sure sure what is wrong with the weather but it is raining for like 15mins after a long day filled with intense love and care from the sun. Imagine the the heat rising from the ground after the small pour? It is totally unbearable.
Speaking of the rain, it came across my mind that people are like rain too. What are the characteristics linking people to rain? it is the unpredictability I guess, despite weather forecasts and the likes of it, the weather has always been out of the expectation of people. Just like people, you will never know what is going on their mind and predicting their next move is always hard.
And it is odd when people says the weather is complicated when the say it never rains or it never stop raining but they never take a look at themselves and think, are they like that too?
Take me for example, I am always like that, hard for people to predict what am I going to say or do. Even myself find it hard to predict what I am going to do or say later.
I am very random.
A waiting wish
I usually wish
That you could hold my hand not tight but firm so that I can never leave you
I usually wish
That I will always be in your mind maybe not always but most of the time so that I will the first person you think of
I really wish
That i know how u look like to be closer to u as you always seems to be a mystery to me
Make my wishes come true one day?
Unintended Sinner 